Seeking For Answers......

   For days I was replaying August 22nd all over again. It was like video with only loops, it would just not stop. Days went on and I still did not talk to anybody what had just happened. That is when I realized I was alone. I had no one, because I knew once I did, someone who was close to me would condemned me hell and start throwing bible versus at me.

   So I started my journey seeking answers. I wanted to know why this happened to me and am I going to Hell for hearing a spirit, let I remind you my granny's spirit.  So I turned to the Bible first and started reading Genesis. I understood most of it and some parts I was able to relate to. As I am reading Genesis I feel like I am being spoken to by God himself. He is saying, "hello I was there with you." When I read about Racael and how she prayed for a baby because she couldn't have one and then God gave her a child. This same occurrence happened to me.

   When we were trying for our second child my husband had been deployed to Okinawa, Japan for a year, then we returned back to the USA. 4 months later he was deployed to Iraq for a few months. Once he was home in September 2008 we started trying for our last child. Time was growing sparse, because I am not allowed to have children past my 27th birthday. So on March 23rd we went to our local Cathloic church. I prayed saying to God, "Please bless us with a baby and if you don't that is OK. I am OK with having one child." When we finished church we went home and I felt different. I knew then I was with child. My prayers had been answered.

   This was just a side note in reference to what I read in Genesis. So, lets get back to the story shall we.

   After reading half of Genesis I went to a family friend who is a pastor and asked, " Is God going to condemn me to hell". Instead of a yes or no answer I was told to read

 1 John 4 

4 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 5 They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

   This was not the answer I was looking for. I wanted to know, since a spirit came and seek me out first would I be condemned that is all I ever wanted to know. So I re-read the passage and still it wasn't the answer to my question. All I wanted was a "Yes" or a "No". That is it. 

Sometimes in life you just want a yes or no answer. Some people either give it to you or they don't. So I went back to the bible seeking answers and I found this passage that scared me to death.

Deuteronomy 18:9-11

9 “When you enter the land which the LORD your God gives you, you shall not learn to imitate the detestable things of those nations. 10 There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, 11 or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritualist, or one who calls up the dead."

   After reading it I said to myself,  well then I guess I know where I am going, but it still did not answer the question: " When a spirit seeks someone out, to give them a message, will you be condemned to something that you did not ask for? I have yet to hear one person answer this question for me. Months later I found my answer and you will be amazed by whom. 

  GOD "sometimes things aren't meant to be understood they just are. I think in this case there is no "right" or "wrong" answer. It just is.Those that seek answers will get those answers answers through God. I made like the way you were suppose to live it. I made life a freedom of choice. There is no right or wrong way. What happened to Casey happened for specific reasons. You all are my children and each one of you has a purpose. With some it takes longer for them to find there true self and true calling. I gave Casey many gifts. She will explain more in her next post, but what she writes is all truth and it is not from the devil. I have a grand purpose for Casey, and you will see through this testimonial of what her true purpose is. This world is going on the path of God and making things up as they go, which is find but remember this that I am your TRUE father. GOD is your true father. All of my children you are of me. You each have a piece of me. I gave you this so that I can live through you. Casey is remembering who she is. As she continues to write listen and do not judge. Keep an open mind and let love and joy shine through. She has a gift listen. I will say this to all of my children you will come back to me one day and the soul that you are. Your spot is here in the kingdom of heaven the light of life. Remember that. God wrote this post not Casey. I want to show you that I am still here. Some of you think that I am not, but I am . To continue on another day.....

No Faults

   I would like to make it clear that there is no fault for anything that I wrote in, "The Beginning". If anything it is a testimonial that my granny was ready to go. She had longed to be with her husband who we called "Pappy". God has said "that some things are not meant to be understood they just are". How do I know this  because he told me. More of that conversation for another day.

   Everything has its own time and this was to time to not only tell my story from the beginning, but this is when it began. It just happened to be on the passing day of my grandma and birth of my niece. Every story has a beginning. But there is no blame on anybody. If anything there should be joy, love, and happiness. God blames nobody. It was just time for his child to be brought back to him. We will all see our loved ones again. You just have to keep the faith.

The Beginning....

   On August 22nd, 2011 I was waiting for the exciting news of my niece. My family lives in many different states, so when the news came that my niece was to be born, we were all over joyed. We had been waiting for her to make a grand entrance into the world of Life. Little did I know, that in the same day I would also suffer a loss.

   Later that afternoon I had received a phone call from my parents that my grandma (who we called "Granny") had to be rushed to the emergency room. She wasn't in good shape and things did not seem to be getting any better with her health. The doctors were telling the family that loved ones should come in from out of town. Her end was drawing near.

   I grieved over the fact that I could not make it to the hospital. We live in Charleston, SC and with my own medical issues I knew I couldn't make it to Winston-Salem, NC. It was really hard on me. Here I am sitting in my apartment with joyious news of new born niece, and the reality that I was loosing a precious grandma. I was experiencing Life & Death all in the same day.

   As I sat at my computer and waiting for family to post pictures or updates on Facebook about my new niece, I was also feeling the guilt. I hated the fact that I couldn't make it. I was getting updates also from my parents about my granny and the news was growing more grim with each passing hour. And so, along with my husband and children we waited. Little did I know though that granny would make an appearance.

   Here is when my life changed. Again I was sitting at the computer, when I heard a voice. I looked to my right and no one was there. They were saying, "Casey, Casey, Casey". I then looked around still nothing, then the voice got louder, " Casey they have to let me go, they have to let me go, it is time". I knew then who it was. My granny was coming to me as a spirit. Since I wasn't there with her physical body she came to me ask her true spirit. Her voice kept getting louder, " Casey tell them to let me go, I don't like this, Tell them to let me go". I knew what she meant.

   Before calling my parents I was crying in full force. I couldn't understand why she was coming to me. Then I thought that she knew I would listen. Granny was the type of person that you did as she said. No if, and, or buts about it you did it. She would keep repeating the same words until I made that phone call.

   I then got the courage, made the phone call and told them. My dad answered and he said, " her blood pressure looked good, she was hooked up to ventilators, and her color seemed to come back". I had said,  "Granny came to me and said it was time for her to go". I don't think people believed me, because when you love someone it is hard to let those go, especially to death.

   I finished my conversation and once we said bye and hung up the phone a calmness came over me. It was like the calmness after a storm.I knew then she was gone. In my reality granny passed away on August 22nd, 2011, but by hospital time it was August 23rd, 2011.

   To this day I felt that I let her down. She was ready to go and there was nothing that I could do about it. I had let the one person who had helped me through some dark times, who listened to me and didn't judge me, I let her down. She trusted me with one simple thing, and I let her down.

   After many months of looking back I wondered why me. I think that it may had been that I am ready for the afterlife. I accepted death over 10 years ago. Once you accept something as death, then you are able to let people know it is OK. I think also she came to me, because everyone was preparing for her burial and the loss of a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.

   Little did I know though, that she had opened a door. A door that could only live in your imagination. A gift so big that only those that choose to believe will. Because of her coming to me in spirit form and trusting me with one thing lead to something that I never thought " A Gift from GOD".

   And so I will continue on another day. Always when you least expect something a glorious thing can happen. In the darkest days a light will emerge. Life does not end after this, it only begins.

  This is the beginning of my story....

Where To Begin...

   I don’t know where to begin. I didn’t set out to write about my personal experiences with God and the gifts that he has blessed me with in the last 10 months. To be completely honest with you I am not the best writer, but God told me that it was time for me to tell my story. I have been thinking about it for at least a few weeks now, but I was told it was time.Only a hand full of people truly know what I have gone through, and those people I truly trust. I knew with those individuals, that  I wouldn’t be judge or thought to be crazy.

   The reason why I was hesitant wasn’t because I didn’t believe in myself, but what other people would say or do. Would they condemn me for what has/is happening to me through the grace of God? Would I be called “The Devil” or would people think that I really needed to commit myself to a mental institution? These were all of the questions that my mind has been wondering, and yet it has held me back from telling my story. Fear will hold you back from experiencing the true things of life. Now I have the courage to do so, because I am finding my Real True Self.

  

   I am already prepared to take the hits from others that believes that what I am saying isn’t true, because how can God really talk to you. You never know God could be writing through me and I wouldn’t know it, well most of the time I do know. He is one strong energy.

  

   So, when you read this keep and open mind and heart. The real experience with God happens when you least expect it and when you start to believe in yourself and not others. I hope this blog brings joy, tears, laughter, hope, and all of the emotions that one goes through to experience any kind of event. I know I will, because I will be reliving it, which is something that happens every day. I am reminded everyday of what I am and what I am going to be. God has a high purpose for us all, but for me I have my true calling and I didn’t know what plan he had in stored for me.

  

   So until next time come on with this journey with me of finding God, soul, and finding your true self. Have a blessed day.